One of the advantages of being raised in a small town is the tendency to make friendships that last a lifetime. Patrick is one of those friends. He was a nut in kindergarten, and age hasn't slowed him down one bit. Patrick's dad was our junior high coach and PE teacher. He was a memorable, lovable character, somewhat of a bumbler, and possessed with a distinctive shrill voice that every junior high boy could mimic without difficulty. He was also old-fashioned and, for a junior high teacher, a bit naive. Putting something over on Coach Lanier thus became a favorite pastime for every male student at dear old Denham Springs Junior High. The coach was well aware of all of this, and seemed to accept it without complaint. He felt, I think, that if he could provide the comic relief to help us through those difficult early teen years, then it was worth the ridicule and abuse; and for our part, while we joked about him incessantly, we all dearly loved the man. Patrick takes after his father in many ways. He is equally memorable and lovable, and he certainly has continued to provide us with comic relief since his dad has been gone. He is gregarious, fun-loving, generous, and funny, but NOT naive. In high-school, Patrick's antics were the stuff of legend--funny and outrageous, but always harmless. Patrick can tell a story that will have the entire room laughing uncontrollably. The jokes are often at his own expense. Patrick is also very intelligent, a fact that he made immense efforts to conceal while in school. Many people were surprised, therefore, when Patrick graduated from college and then from veterinary school with high grades. I was not one of them. Patrick settled down, more or less, in Hammond, Louisiana, where he still lives. He can usually be found at his favorite hangout, the Crescent Bar and Lounge where he holds court almost every afternoon, entertaining the other patrons with tales of his latest adventures. It was one of these patrons who heard about the Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest and encouraged Patrick to take part a few years ago. Patrick accepted the challenge, and found the atmosphere in Key West much to his liking. He has been a regular participant in the contest for the last four years, but it was not until this year that we found it feasible go as his cheering section.
I wouldn't say that Patrick really resembles Ernest Hemingway. He has the burly build and the white beard that Hemingway sported in his later life, but the physical resemblance is superficial at best. The similarity is more in attitude and in the ability to live "large." Fortunately, Patrick does not seem burdened by the depression that haunted Hemingway and eventually led to his death, but he has all of Hemingway's love of adventure. It was our good fortune to get in on this adventure with Patrick, and the result was a vacation we will never forget.Since we were able to assemble a group of seven for the trip, we decided to rent a house rather than get hotel rooms. We found a charming old home on Luisa Street, just one block off Duval, and still within walking distance of the old town in Key West. The house had four bedrooms, plenty of bathrooms, and a backyard deck and small pool that provided us with welcome relief from the heat and humidity. To get to Key West, we flew from New Orleans to Miami and rented a van, driving the remaining distance to Key West. It would have been quicker to take a commuter flight to Key West, which has a small airport, but we had never seen the Keys before and thought it might be more interesting to drive. This was good for a first trip, but on subsequent trips we will probably fly from Miami. The Keys are pretty, but not spectacular, and traffic can move pretty slowly on the two-lane highway that connects them. We arrived in the evening and were able to rendezvous with Patrick and his wife Nedra at a neat open-air restaurant and lounge called the Blue Heaven. The seafood there was very good. We found this to be the case in every restaurant we tried, and we were somewhat surprised at just how tasty it was. It is not seasoned in the same way we season seafood in south Louisiana, but was obviously fresh and always served in interesting and elegant ways. We are all anxious to have it again.
On the following morning, we began to explore Key West, getting the lay of the land, and doing some casual shopping. We met Patrick and Nedra before lunch at Captain Tony's, one of Key West's most famous bars. Captain Tony's is just off Duval Street on the spot where the original Sloppy Joe's was located back in the day when it was the favorite watering hole for Ernest Hemingway and his gang of adventurers. Sloppy Joe's is currently located less than a block away, and is the site of the annual look-alike contest. We had to watch the clock closely in order to get to the contest in time to get a table, since we knew there would be standing room only.The contest is a raucous affair. About 150 Hemingway look-alikes enter each year. Each is given only a few seconds to explain to the judges and audience why he should be chosen as the winner. Normally a contestant must enter for many years before he even makes the finals. More importantly, the contest serves as a method for raising money for charity. Each of the contestants is expected to bring some sort of merchandise or memorabilia related to Ernest Hemingway, and these are auctioned off to the audience. Patrick has been very ingenious at finding Ernest Hemingway memorabilia. This year he was able to procure four articles about Hemingway, originally published in Playboy Magazine in 1962, the year following his death. The articles were written by Hemingway's brother and are collector's items. They brought $600.00 at the auction. Bribing the judges is an accepted tactic as well. Patrick made the finals on Friday, the second night of the competition. This was his first time to make the finals, and although he didn't win, it is unusual for any contestant to get to the finals after only four years. The judges obviously like Patrick, and we expect him to win one year very soon. We want to be there.
We found Key West to be a delightful place, with many attractions aside from the contest. Duval Street is packed with great shops and restaurants. We especially enjoyed an La Trattoria, an Italian restaurant that served up some of the best red snapper I have ever eaten. Mallory Square at west end of Duval is a colorful festival marketplace featuring mimes, jugglers, and various performance artists, as well as kiosks serving up tasty local fare such as conch fritters. Watching the sunset at Mallory Square is a KeyWest tradition. The Hemingway House on Whitehead Street served as the author's home for many years, and it was there that he wrote many of his most famous works. The inbred six-toed cats that roam the grounds are also a Key West tradition.
The whole place has a pleasant, laid-back, funky, bohemian feel, and absolutely everything is casual. Shorts and flip-flops are the expected attire, even at the best restaurants. On Saturday, the final night of the contest, a portion of Duval Street was closed to traffic so that a street fair could be set up. The booths tended to hawk the same sort of merchandise seen in the stores, but Ann did manage to find an interesting book of historical fiction by a local author that featured Hemingway as a character. On our last full day in Key West, we decided to try something different by booking a snorkeling trip. The coral reef located seven miles off the coast of the Keys is the world's third largest and is popular with divers and snorkelers. Half-day or full-day trips can be easily booked in the old town. Those who want a little more action can book day trips that feature kayaking, jet-skiing, and parasailing as well, but we were not that energetic.I would recommend Key West to anyone who wants a relaxing, casual vacation. We saw many families with small children, and the place has a friendly family feel, even though some of the featured entertainment is definitely of an adult nature. Excellent food, great shopping, and terrific music and entertainment could be found throughout the old town area. A couple of caveats, however...1) Don't expect to see beautiful beaches. They are passable, but not really the reason to travel to Key West. If white sand is what you're looking for, the gulf beaches along the panhandle are a much better bet. 2) If you go in the summer as we did, be prepared for brutal heat and humidity. These things aside, I would certainly recommend that you give Key West a try...and if you go during the third week in July, say hello to Patrick. He's the one who looks like Ernest Hemingway.
Here's a short video of our adventures...
